woof.

I've been sick.  It's been a long week.  My productivity at work wasn't great last week and I feel like I'm super behind.  I've eaten my weight in kimchi and some full-fat yogurt here and there, but the antibiotics are still kicking my ass (and my digestive system) a little bit.  We traveled up to visit the inlaws this weekend and my diet wasn't ideal - I ate far more dried apricots and almonds than was necessary, but I suppose in the grand scheme of things, gorging myself on dried fruit and nuts in a movie theater beats the many, MANY other things I could have gorged myself on. 

Pretty sweet theater, though.  Why doesn't Philly have one of these?

I don't have a ton to say, except that I want to curl up in bed with a bagel or maybe some nachos.  Instead I'm going to drink a buttload of water and do my best to force myself to be a workhorse today.

Training log:

Tuesday May 8: strict press, peak of three. 55-65-75-80-80.  Yep, tripled my prior (and honestly, probably current) max.  This is not my strongest lift, but my shoulders feel like they're a little stronger than they were.  Metcon, 5 rounds of AMRAP 60 seconds wallballs (20/14lbs), 60 seconds handstand pushups.  Half-assed the wallballs.  Total reps 87, as RX'ed.

Thursday May 10: clean & jerk. 63x2, 83x2, 103x2...and then I started pulling with my arms. 103x1, 108x1, 108x1...and then two sets of 5 clean pulls at 108lbs.  Woof.  15lbs under my max.  I went to a morning class and had to rush to get to work, so I wasn't sad to skip the metcon (50 bar facing burpees for time).

Friday May 11: deadlifts, peak of three. 145-185-215-235-255.  Fast and easy to 255; 255 was heavy but still fast enough out of the bottom that I was satisfied.  Fran (21-15-9 thrusters (95/65) and pull ups): 7:40 as RX'ed.  54 seconds slower than last week's time.  Like last time, broke the 15 thrusters up into 7 and 8 - but I failed THREE TIMES to squat clean the bar for my 8th rep, which ate up a bunch of time.  Post-Fran I felt awful - sick and nauseated - not sure if it was due to the workout or to the nasty shot of antibiotics I got in my arm earlier that day, but I had a coconut water and ginger Larabar afterwards and felt much better.

Monday, May 14: another morning class. back squats, peak of 3.  85-115-135-155-175 easy.  Could have gone up to 185, but I decided to skip it and planned to take two sets in today's metcon - 20 rep back squat.  Last time we did this I did 115 and 125 and remember it being fairly easy, so I planned to do 135 and 145.  Should have done the extra work set instead, because I wore a belt and FRIED my lower back on the 135.  Easy weight for my legs, though.

F Burpees

I got to spend some quality time with my little girl this afternoon, since Sophie was due for her annual vet visit. We were both impressed with the summertime window display at the vet's office.

Which is nice, because today at CFCC was not pretty.

Skillwork: Turkish getups. 15 minutes to get to a peak of one.

This is a new move for me, so I focused mainly on form and didn't push the weight too much. I started with a shoe (ok, we ALL did), followed by a 10lb dumbbell, 20lb dumbbell and then a 12kg kettlebell (about 26.5 pounds). By the time I hit 12kg, my (weaker) left side started getting a little ugly, so I stayed there and did maybe 3 or 4 on each side. By the last set, I wasn't looking as bad. The surprisingly difficult part is keeping my arm straight and the bell overhead.

And then it was time for the metcon. 50 burpees for time. That sucked and I performed kind of lousy. I started out thinking I'd do 5 sets of 10. I did my first 12 in 33 seconds. I was at 20 within a minute. And then I started to really suffer, and I strung together five at a time...and rested WAY too long between sets. Total time was 4:05. Blah.

My quads were seizing up in the car (thank goodness PhillyGuy came to pick me up) and I felt like I was going to vomit. As soon as we got home I chugged a coconut water...and then chugged another. After about half an hour, I started to feel better.

All that from FOUR MINUTES of effort. And it wasn't even a particularly good effort, compared to the rest of the class - as you can see, only two people finished after me. Sometimes crossfit sucks. And sometimes I suck at crossfit. But it's going to feel damn good to get better.

ouch.

i am SORE.

Friday was back squats - I didn't go over 85lbs, but, well, my form kind of sucked and since I had a light weight (i.e., just the bar) for the metcon, I did a bajillion of them. Over 60 during the metcon and probably 5-6 rounds of five during the class.

As a side effect, the back of my neck is bruised from the several sets I did with improper bar placement. AND the FRONT of my neck is sore - the muscles in my freaking neck are sore - which PhillyGuy speculates is an extension of my form. He's probably right.

Handstands yesterday went well. Forward rolls less so, sort of, since I got stuck at the bottom of nearly all of them during the metcon. So I have a bruised lower back from that.

And - I'm just freakin' sore. During yoga today, we had what felt like the longest warrior sequence imaginable. Warrior one to two to reverse warrior back to two, and then some extended side angle, and I think maybe some twists in there, though that might have been another sequence. While it probably took less than 120 seconds per side, holding my lunge felt impossible.

Tomorrow's skillwork is front squats. Metcon is going to involve sprints and squats. The idea of doing more work with my tender legs is beyond me...

...but I could learn to clean.

So.

Should I be patient - since I will clearly have many more opportunities to learn to clean - and not push my sore legs?

Or should I just suck it up, foam roll like a good girl, and figure that by the time 6:30 rolls around tomorrow, I'll have all of the strength I need to get this done?

(Patience is not my best virtue. And I'm never sure when I'm making an excuse [which, believe me, I make PLENTY of] or when I'm being appropriately cautious.)

in the meantime...ouch.

Seasonal

I am definitely on another breakfast kick.



I missed fruit and yogurt. Lots. I get stuck in a carb-obsessed groove every now and again, when I can't fathom why in god's name I would ever CHOOSE to eat fruit and yogurt when I could have a doughy bagel.

And then something happens, like, oh, I don't know...not being able to fit into my pants because I've coupled the carb-obsession with slacking at the gym AND eating more than a few handfuls of chocolate chips while doing my holiday baking.

And then one day, I force myself to walk PAST the bagel bin and straight to the cooler and grab a Fage 0 and some fruit salad. (Okay, in an ideal world, I would be packing myself a little tupperware full of fruit and Fage from home, but I decided I'd rather spend Sunday watching Annie Hall from bed than go grocery shopping, so I'm out of just about everything except for broccoli and frozen chicken.) And I die a little inside at that exact moment, but then once I get up to my office and dig in, I'm like - "FRUIT AND YOGURT! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?"

I will say I never waver from my iced coffee obsession, though.



Last night there was a weird crowd at the gym. It's been blissfully empty for the past week or so - it's as if everyone in my development decided to resolve to avoid the gym instead of attack it. It's been nice - no waiting for a treadmill, not feeling guilty if I decide to do more than 30 minutes of running or whatever. Last night, I hopped on the bike for 25 minutes on the "random" program, followed by P90X shoulders and arms.

And it was just me, a random cardio queen who is ALWAYS there and spends hours on either the bike or the elliptical, and two muscle-y dudes. I'm not one to feel awkward at the gym, but something about these two guys gave off a major creep factor. The one guy parked himself less than a foot away from the rack of dumbbells that I use, which meant I had to interact with him in order to change up my weights or whatever. The other guy alternated between doing sets of bicep curls (my favorite kind, where they use momentum and flick their hips in order to lift weights their biceps are not capable of lifting) and using an unoccupied machine to stretch his hamstrings. The entire time, the two of them were talking to each other, and I couldn't shake the feeling they were talking about me. It wasn't helping matters that I kept catching Uncomfortably-Close-to-Dumbbells dude in my peripheral vision with his head facing towards me. I couldn't hear a word since I had my headphones in, and I did my best to tune the world out and focus on lifting...but eeeesh. It was just weird and I kept obsessing over whether I was doing something wrong, or did they think I was a January-only-gym-bunny, or...GAH.

I hate crap like that. I NEVER worry about that kind of thing, and I (clearly) love to people-watch at the gym, too...I don't know why last night was so weird. Oh well.

I don't know about you guys, but this is turning into the longest week EVER. I cannot believe it's only Thursday. Do any of you have a three-day weekend? I'm pretty sure I'm going to be able to take Monday off and I'm thrilled to pieces about it.

College Football Party Menu

Yeah, I went there.



Salted caramel hot chocolate. It's a welcome trade for my usual post-lunch Lindt sea salt dark chocolate squares. The barista looked at me like I had four heads when I ordered it, since I almost always get plain ol' iced coffee. But I don't care - I LIVE for salty/sweet combos, and this is one of the best. I also love how they always ask if you want whipped cream - PLEASE. On a drink like this, if I'm being honest? I'd really prefer just a cup of whipped cream topped with caramel and sea salt. Forget the hot chocolate part...it's almost too rich for me. I can only finish about half of a tall before it starts to get to be too much.

Anyway. I'm taking a quick break from blasting through stuff here at work to outline my menu for tomorrow. As I mentioned before, my SIL is coming into town for the weekend, and we're taking the opportunity to host a college football-watching party, open-house style.

Planned menu:

Appetizers/snacky stuff, to be set out around 1pm or so:

- Tortilla chips, baby carrots and assorted dips (Wegman's carmelized onion hummus, guacamole, salsa, creamy parmesan artichoke dip)
- Caitlin's Pumpkin Dip with sliced honeycrisp apples
- OhSheGlow's Canadian Beer Nuts

Mains:

- Chopped tossed salad (romaine, tomatoes, cukes, red onion, maybe olives if I get really crazy)
- Meatballs, with red sauce, provolone cheese, plenty of shredded Locatelli and Amoroso's rolls
- Turkey chili (I'll start this in the crockpot around 10am and when it's done, it's done) with cornbread
- Chili fixins: Fage 0 (instead of sour cream), guac, shredded cheese, chopped onion, hot sauce, salsa, sliced olives

Dessert:

- Jenna's most amazing incredible chocolate chip cookies

I'll make the cookie dough in the morning and refrigerate until it seems like it's cookie time. nothing like fresh, warm delicious cookies :)

Reviewing this, I feel like I'm missing something. I'm thinking about maybe picking up a loaf of bread to add as an additional dipping alternative...not sure that I really need it, but this is how I operate. I suffer from what I believe to be a classic Italian (and, based on my experience, Jewish) affliction of "OMGWHATIFIDON'THAVEENOUGHFOOD?!"

Seriously. I would be so, SO embarassed if I ran out of food at a party. Horrified. I always over-cook, and I get made fun of for it...but seriously. Let's be clear. The chili I'm making? I have about three pounds of ground turkey and four cans of beans. I bought four packages of meatballs and 24 rolls. And I'm STILL worried my husband's friends won't get enough to eat. After all, who am I to decide how many meatball sandwiches is a reasonable amount per person?

My husband is worried about more reasonable things. Like whether we have enough seating for everyone, depending on who shows up when. Me? I'm like "WHO CARES! They can sit on the floor and have four meatball sandwiches and a pound of pumpkin dip and sixteen cookies each!"

Do you overfeed? Do you blame it on your heritage like I do? And more importantly...who's going to come over on Sunday and eat the pound and a half of chili and 27 meatballs that I'll have left over?

Swear I'm Not Dead

I swear.

I've been in a bit of a slump lately. I've been going through some stuff in my personal life - nothing earth shattering and I'm not dying, don't worry! - but it's been taking its toll on my energy levels and motivation.

Honestly, I haven't had much inclination to blog for these past couple weeks (um, no kidding). And even if I had, what would I do? Show you pictures of me eating every carbohydrate (simple, complex, white, wheat, and chocolate chip cookie dough) known to man? Tell stories about how I haven't done any running except for my weekly long runs, and how I haven't gone to the gym more than 4 or 5 times in two weeks?

Thrilling. And not super-healthy.

It takes its toll. The last thing I felt like doing Sunday morning was getting my butt out of bed and going for a run. I did it - and I made a really big effort to fix the problems I had with last week's run, and to make this one an honest reflection of my capabilities. But...I was being hard on myself, and it showed.

I filled my camelbak with ice and Gatorade, and tossed a random Clif gel in the zipper pocket to eat at my turnaround point. Fun tunes on the iPod, Garmin on my wrist, and I was off. I made a conscious effort to keep my pace slower and as steady as possible -- I don't need to do what I've been doing and burn out before I get halfway there, right?

But my slower pace is an effort for me. My body's preferred pace naturally falls around 9:15-9:30 these days, and to take it down to 10:00 takes a conscious effort. I felt awkward and plodding. My camelbak was bouncing and I couldn't find a place to jam the spout so that it didn't snag my headphones. I couldn't seem to shake the negative thoughts. "You're too slow for a camelbak. People who run this slow don't need "fuel," they need to work harder and get better. You can't even run 8 miles today - how are you going to run a half next month? You should just drop out and forget it."

No bueno. No bueno AT ALL. I managed to shake the negativity a bit by my last couple of miles, and I did do a much better job of pushing myself through without stopping, AND of leaving the garmin on when I did stop to get a more honest look at where I am. Splits:



The fact is, though, I'm not going to get OUT of this lil' funkslump unless I just freakin' do it. I could sit around and wait until I FEEL like eating veggies, fruit & yogurt...or I could just EAT that stuff and get rid of the half a pizza that's been in my fridge since Saturday.

I did that this morning. Bye bye, dried-out pizza. (I suppose it's actually a good thing that the half-pizza sat there in the fridge, drying out, instead of me eating the rest of it Monday night.)

I could sit around and wait until I FEEL like going back to the gym and spending some QT with Tony, or I could just GO EVEN THOUGH I WOULD RATHER SIT ON THE COUCH IN MY FAVORITE SWEATPANTS.

I did that yesterday. 35 minutes of cardio (25 on the bike, 10 on the elliptical) and P90X chest/shoulders/triceps. (Note: weeks and weeks without doing a one-armed pushup will have a pretty big effect on your ability to attempt one-armed pushups. Rocky Balboa I am not.)

I could sit around and wait until I FEEL like going grocery shopping...or I could just get in the car and go.

I did that last night. Now I finally have fresh fruit again. Cherries! Peaches! And my precious Starbucks VIA. And green beans to roast with onions and mushrooms. Thus making it far, far less likely that I will either order a pizza, or walk to the corner store where I will suddenly decide it is far less work to purchase a bag of pita chips & tub of hummus for dinner.

I'm getting there. I even ate veggies for dinner TWO WHOLE NIGHTS IN A ROW. (I took pictures, too, but I forgot to bring my card reader to work.)

OK, Really Facebook?

...REALLY?

This quick entry brought to you by the screwed up ads on my Facebook. Just did a quick 38-min yoga video from On Demand - now heading out to get bleach (since I am a total moron and ruined a whole load of white t-shirts by throwing in a NEW PAIR OF BLACK PANTS...gah), Stacy's pita chips and Bobbi's black bean hummus for a night on the couch.

...ok, REALLY?

Water Update

So it's been a whole week since I decided to cut down on my personal black hole of spending: diet soda.

My full disclosure: as I stated originally, I don't intend to -- and haven't -- stopped drinking soda at home. I still have a couple glasses of it at night after work, with dinner and during my precious TV watching-and-internetting time.

BUT, I'm proud to say I haven't purchased or drank a single soda at work since last Thursday. And it hasn't been so bad!

The first morning was great. "Lookitmeeee! I'm drinking water! Who needs soda?? Not meeeeee!" and then I finished my first bottle, around lunchtime. And promptly got slammed with a craving for fizzy deliciousness. "Stupid water. This is stupid. I want diet coke, dammit." But, lucky for me, I didn't have any cash for the vending machine, and I didn't have the time to run downstairs, and besides -- I can't just give up that easily, right?

And I'm happy to say that since then, I've averaged two full 800mL/28oz bottles of water a day. One in the morning, one in the afternoon. Plus, of course, my iced coffee in the morning, and occasionally a second iced coffee in the afternoon. By "occasionally," I mean "once."



So, I'm doing pretty well, I'd say. I honestly haven't missed my daily 40-60 ounces of Diet Coke/Coke Zero/whatever, but that's probably aided by the fact that I'm still having about 16-20 ounces at night. I don't know that I've noticed any changes -- but to be fair, I haven't been paying much attention. Herding a pack of dogs has taken up most of my time this week.

Last night, I herded said dogs into their respective crates for some dinner while I hit the gym. And what an interesting evening at the gym it was. Now, I use my condo complex's gym. It's actually pretty decent, with a good variety of equipment, enough cardio machines that I've never had to wait, and a nice set of dumbbells in every weight I need. Best of all, it's free (or, well, not "free," but "included in the HOA fee"). But one of the drawbacks of a free gym is that anyone who lives there can use it. This occasionally means, say, having someone bring their child with them and having said child wander aimlessly about, randomly messing around with the machines. Or people who don't regularly attend the gym, and thus have no sense of etiquette (i.e. sitting on a machine to rest, not wiping their sweat off, doing strange calisthenetics in the middle of the floor and blocking access to the weights).

But last night, I think there may have been a certifiably crazy woman there. There I was, pedaling away on the bike and cursing the burn in my quads, when I started hearing a sort of wailing coming from behind me. It was loud enough that I could hear it over my music, but not loud enough so that I could tell what was going on. After maybe ten minutes of this, I managed to nonchalantly turn around.

There was a woman wearing a long, light blue jersey dress (I'd call it a maxi dress, but it had short sleeves) and Ugg slippers, hair down, singing along -- and LOUDLY -- to "Stayin' Alive," which I presume was playing on her ipod. She was hopping sort of wildly from machine to machine -- she'd do a few crunches on that ab-weight-machine, wail "stayin aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive," jump up, run over to the leg adduction machine, bust out three or four thigh moves, "ah ah ah ah stayin alive, stayin alive," run over to the lat pulldown, knock out a couple of reps, continue singing and dash across the room to another random machine.

I'm wondering if we were being punked or something. Everyone in the gym was doing the same thing I was: trying to stare in disbelief while letting it appear as though you didn't even notice the bizarre turn of events going on in front of you.

Yeah. I cut my workout short last night.

Weird gym sightings?

Struggling

Today is not the happiest of days.

It should be, you know? It's a gorgeous, sunny, low-humidity morning. I listened to my iPod on the walk to work -- lots of Glee mixed with my old stand-by punk and pop-punk favorites. I'm having a good hair day (no doubt assisted by aforementioned low humidity). I'm wearing an awesome bright teal scarf that cooperated when I tied it, so it's arranged beautifully and falls perfectly.

But I'm really struggling today, guys. I've got some immense...I don't even know. I'd call it "guilt," but it's really not guilt. It's more like self-loathing, I guess.

It's not completely out of nowhere. I know what triggered it. Around 5:15 or so yesterday, I started to get hungry -- so I had the other half of my Clif Builder's bar, so I'd be ready to hit the gym after I got home. PhillyGuy offered to pick me up from work, and he got there just before 6.
Right after I hopped in the car, he looked at me. "I have a proposition. Can we get rotisserie chicken for dinner?" And I knew he meant "now, on our way home, and eat it immediately."

I told him I'd just had a clif bar, wasn't really hungry and wanted to go to the gym. And he told me he was really tired, he'd had a long day and was hungry...and that I could go to the gym, but he wasn't going to come with me. And he wanted dinner.

I could have gone anyway. I REALLY WANTED to go anyway. But instead, I decided that it would be OK to skip it, and that I'd have dinner with my husband, who's been traveling a bunch lately and who I haven't really seen much at all in the past few weeks.

So I skipped it. We stopped at Healthy Bites and got some random stuff -- I had a piece of lemon sole with capers and a chicken breast stuffed with roasted peppers, tomato and a goat cheese/pesto combination. I ate most of the sole and half of the chicken. That was it.

And then PhillyGuy had to get some work done. And I sat on the couch. That's when I started feeling guilty, and feeling like I'd made the wrong choice by not working out. It carried throughout the night -- watching Top Chef, heading up to bed. It carried through to this morning, when I realized at 6:15 that, even though I'd set my alarm for 5am so I could get up and run, I had turned it off and gone back to sleep. It carried through to picking out my outfit for the day -- I picked one out and changed because the pants were still too snug. It carried through to the rest of my morning routine -- taking out the trash, making my breakfast/lunch, watering the plants on the balcony. It carried through to my walk to work -- I beat myself up for not taking advantage of the fabulous low humidity and perfect running weather. When a favorite running song came onto my iPod, I mentally kicked myself because I should have been listening to it hours ago, when the streets were emptier and the sun lower in the sky.

This is SO NOT PRODUCTIVE.

And here's the really cheese part: I got to work and put my lunch down on my desk. When I take a smaller handbag to work -- one that doesn't fit my little tupperware -- I pack my food in a Lululemon bag. You guys probably all know how their bags have all kinds of great pictures and inspirational statements on them. This one caught my eye:



That works in reverse, too -- how much you like yourself is going to directly affect your outlook on life. If I spend the rest of the day killing myself for skipping the gym yesterday and eating "extra" dinner, I'm going to be an enormously miserable bitch and my day is going to suck. It's going to be reflected in the work that I do, and how I handle the inevitable bajillion phone calls with clients. And it's just not necessary and definitely not productive.

So, here goes nothing. Berries and yogurt for breakfast. I'm on my second cup of iced coffee, which, thanks to Starbucks VIA and my fabulous travel cold cup, I didn't even need to go downstairs to get.



(seriously - how adorable is that red and white straw?)

In general, I intend to combat my obnoxious self-loathing and negativity by being obnoxiously positive and happy. I figure it'll average out and make me a normal person at some point.

Technology Post

I've shamelessly been using an "extra" laptop that PhillyGuy got from work for a long time now. Like, at least 2.5 or 3 years. The battery is totally shot. Occasionally, the screen goes black for a couple seconds for no reason. To be honest, it still does the job JUUUUUST fine (at least as long as I'm near an outlet), but I'm starting to think it might be time for me to actually purchase my own.

So here's where I need you guys to come in. Do I buy a Mac or a PC?


(Photo credit)

I've always been a PC person -- not necessarily because it's a preference, but because that's what my dad always bought. I've been using a computer since before I could read, and I've been on teh internets since I was in about sixth grade (a lady never reveals her age and all that, but let's just say it was something like 1993). Despite this, I need my computer to do all of three things (in order of importance):

1. Access the internet. Wirelessly.
2. Communicate with and charge my Garmin.
3. iTunes.

I suppose if I was getting crazy, I'd include stuff like basic photo uploading and the occasional editing (meaning cropping, not fancy photoshop stuff), and I really, really like playing Spider Solitaire, but I only do that four to six months. Oh, and it needs to work with Citrix so I can work remotely if I need to, which I don't do that frequently.

Obviously, with such troglodytic needs, either a Mac or a PC is going to fit the bill. I can honestly say that the only reason I'm even considering a Mac is based on their marketing. My sister has one and I know a ton of bloggers have them, and they just look so cool and pretty! And I was in the Apple store yesterday picking up a new cord for my iPod, since PhillyGuy stole mine for his iPhone, and everything just looked so shiny and sleek and impressive. AND AND AND...if I buy a MacBook I get a free iPod touch. Not gonna lie, that's pretty convincing. Even though I already have an iPod Classic AND an iPod shuffle already.

But sweet jebus, they're expensive. That's where you guys come in. Tell me -- if you have a Mac, is it worth it? Should I buy a Mac and get the free (totally superfluous) iPod touch with it? Or should I spend the exact same amount of money and get a PC now, and possibly an iPhone in January, when my current cell contract is up?

Pretty please, weigh in. This is obviously an important decision and should not be based solely on my materialistic impulses. I would clearly prefer those impulses to be backed up by peer pressure and validation...OR to be shot down as pure foolishness.